OPERATION STRIP TEASE

cautioninfrench & roflyourwaffles

While killing time at a fashion show before his mission at the White House, The Russian man wanders off behind the scenes and starts chatting up one of the models (Catholic mother). Unable to control himself, he spills the beans to the model who, knowing her catholic duty, calls the police.

“911, what is your emergency?”
“I’m calling to report a Russian…”
A short boy, resembling a toddler crawled onto the table, reached with his dumpy hands, and put the phone down for her.
“Vyu can’t dzoo zat, zis not a goud idea,” the toddler whispers with the voice of a 47 year old.
“Why is your voice so…manly? What a little miracle you are. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus Jesus Jesus…
She does the sign of the cross with her skinny fingers. Jesus.
“It is my rightful duty, as a regular church attendee to do this. It is God’s orders,” she explains in a monotone voice.
“Zi should tell zyu sthat I’m an undurcover 15 year old…and zyour babies’ faaja;” he declares like he was Darth Vadar, “All six zof zem.”
With a puzzled face she utters the words: “No. You are not. Not my six miracles from the Lord Jesus Christ. I do not remember doing you,” she exclaims…with boredom. “The Lord would punish me.”
She falls onto her boney knees, almost breaking them, and goes into prayer with her palms facing the Lord’s home: “I believe in God, the Father Almighty, the Creator of Heaven and Earth and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord who…”
“Zjot it. Zyu Amerdicans zounds like my dog, Lazzie,” he yells. “And by zee way, we did it in zee back…of the church.”
The skinny woman gasps.
“My muhzer back in Raasha zays zat prayer every time she zees me. I always vwondered vwhy,” he says with a confused look on his face.
“But zat iz not nwhy I am here,” he states boldly while glancing at his watch. 3 pm.
“In half an hour, Jeorge Daab-ah-zuu Bush zis holding a fourz of July party at zee Vwhite House. It iz my duty to explode out of zee cake…naked. Zit iz a gift from Raasha. It meanz ‘we hate zyou’. I’m going to be…aztrippar. I need zyour help. Jow me how to walk zee runway.

Written by out-her-space-13 & mindofteenager