what can i say? i'm an eccentric woman.

got more soul

than a sock

with a hole.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Should you know?

I was just looking outside the window.

The snow was flowing, falling, flying in the frosty air. It kinda just made its bed across the night city, getting ready to fall asleep ever so silently. Made me wonder.

I’m a very private person. I’m not much of a talker either, as loud as I may be. I don’t really like to share. I’ve never been one to. I’ve stuck to myself since I was a kid. It’s hard for me to show my cards. Maybe I’m selfish with myself. Introvert? I guess. I have this notion in me that people…they wouldn’t understand me if I told them anything. They wouldn’t get me. So naturally, trust and chances are issues with me. People tend to get FBI on you when they find out that one intriguing detail about you that just sparks interest in their minds. I’m very fearful of that. Not that I have too many secrets locked away, but I…I don’t know, it’s just so damn personal. I hate that I’m like this sometimes. But still, I like to keep my inner thoughts and feelings to my inner me…they’re all mine, dammit. I can just be me when I'm alone, unbothered and uninterrupted. Being in my room, alone in the outer space of four walls where my imagination can run untamed and my introspection can thrive feels like something I can’t describe... I'm guessing that's a problem. No one really knows what’s happening with me. But that’s my fault, right? I’ve become a sly fox, always carrying a plan in my left hand. I've got my tactics. I'm a careful chooser of words - over your head, under your nose and around your ears they travel. Sometimes in your face. You just have to pay attention.

I guess what I'm tryna say is...
I don't really know how to change.


Ahh, you wouldn’t get it anyway.

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